Child Dedication

Caleb's child dedication was on this Sunday, June 24th, 2012 at 9:15am. I was unreasonably nervous beforehand. Who even knows why. I was worried that Caleb would freak out, reaching to get off the stage while shouting, "No No No!" This fear is not entirely unfounded. Usually he does cry and say no when we are in that auditorium. So him on stage seemed like a negative. At the last moment, I asked his Nana to come up on stage with us. She did, and I think it went as well as it did because she was holding him. He was definitely not a fan and pouted while verbalizing his discomfort, but it was okay. It was weird because all of a sudden we were up on stage and I was nervous and stood awkwardly and worried about Caleb. Then they prayed and then we were done. So while we were up there on stage, I wasn't really present during the whole thing. However, I think it still all meant something. I think that is partly why I was nervous about it beforehand. To me, doing the dedication felt like a commissioning. It felt like MY commissioning to go and show the love of God to Caleb in every day life. Teaching him and modeling to him what a follower of Jesus is. I don't feel like a follower of Jesus. I feel like I am just here, in my luke warm bath of belief. I am not intense. I don't depict a passionate christian by any means. So I felt like maybe I should not be dedicating Caleb until I was ready for the task at hand. A child dedication is not dedicating the child's life to God. That is really their choice to make when and if they chose that. It is really a promise and a choice as his parent, to teach him about God and show him the love of God. While it is true that I do believe in God, it is also true that I have a lot of growing to do as far as having a closer relationship with God. My faith has been disillusioned in the past several years, and I am slowly redefining what I think and believe now. I think that as a parent, my ministry begins at home (I feel weird using the word ministry. Just saying). And I feel unequipped to tackle this. I am glad we did the dedication. The church did a great job, even with a weirdo like myself. We were supposed to chose a verse to present for the child, and this is the one I knew I wanted from the beginning. 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart;
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.
                                                                 -Jeremiah 1:5

I like looking at this in the context of the chapter. 

The word of the Lord came to me, saying,
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you,
    before you were born I set you apart; 
    I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. 
“Alas, Sovereign Lord,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.” 
But the Lord said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the Lord.
Then the Lord reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, “I have put my words in your mouth. 10 See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.”

I wrote about my thoughts on faith a few months ago but never published the blog entry because it is an evolving thought process. Even as I look back at what I wrote, I feel like I have continued to evolve in my thoughts in small ways just by having different discussions. Still, I think I will post that blog as a follow up to this since they are both faith topics. 

I only invited a few people to Caleb's dedication because I did not want it to be even more overwhelming. It is nice how people come to support you in this journey, just by marking this milestone.