|Attempting a bday photo with my boy.|
I feel like I am getting old. I know I am young, but man, I get tired so much earlier now. This could have something to do with the 3 year old who raids the kitchen and wakes up telling stories at 6am. Either way, it is not cool.
My sister and I went to one of my old favorite restaurants today. La Creperie. I used to go there and eat 2 entire crepes. Today, I couldn't finish one, and I barely ate the desert crepe. And I am still feeling a little sick from it. Weird. It's like I have to eat fresher, whole foods now. Except I don't so much, so then I feel a little gross. And instead of doing more with my sister or going over to hang out with her and my brother in law, I just wanted to come home and rest. It's like every outing I have now, I have to come home and recoup from. It feels like my introverted ways have increased. I think it's because I am such a homebody with Caleb now. As in, I cannot leave once he goes to bed. I am homebound. But even malls, I am over it within a few stores. Then it seems I can hardly wait to leave there once I am over it.
Yesterday was my birthday. It didn't feel like it, but it was nice to see my friends. I saw Regina in the morning, and then Haylee, Amanda, and Alexia at night. Of course after I met with Regina, all I wanted to do was come home and lay in bed. So I did. Until 4:30pm. Then I got up to pick Caleb up from school and take him to the park. I loved seeing my friends, but being there with him may have been my favorite thing all day.
There were kids at the park that ranged from ages 6-9 years old. None of them knew each other, but in no time formed teams of boys against girls and threw out all kinds insults at each other. They also threw sand at each other. The girls were determined to beat the boys. At one point, the girls told the boys that they smelled like "a can of buts". Caleb seemed to notice how unkind they were to each other. I wasn't really a fan either, but I guess it is normal kid behavior? I don't know, I was a wild child back in the day. I climbed trees and made mud pies and played with any of the neighborhood kids. But I haven't been around kids much since I was actually one myself. Besides Caleb. Anyway, while they were interesting to watch, these kids kind of ruined the peace and almost mowed Caleb over a few times. He was fine though.
Caleb and I left the park and went to BJ's to meet with Haylee, Amanda, and Alexia for dinner. On our way there, Caleb passed out and was sleeping in the car. I got him out of the car, waited for a table and was seated for awhile with the girls before he woke up. He was grumpy and not a fan of life upon awakening. He was able to get passed it though. And once again, the food made me feel gross again! What is happening?! Like if I don't eat healthier foods, I am getting this way now. Maybe it's a phase, I have no idea. I should try to embrace it though.
Overall assessment of the day-I was a little panicked over my age. Not because I feel old, but because I had these deep rooted plans for myself that are far from being met. Each year I turn another age where this doesn't happen, freaks me out more. I recognize grad school will have to wait, but I need to do more for Caleb and I as far as the job outlook goes. So, we'll see about that. I feel like there are some things I truly trust God with, but when it comes to jobs, I panic instead of trust. I have this assurance with God that he will provide and guide me in so many ways, and I recognize that jobs need to be apart of this. It is just something I want and need so badly. But I need to believe in God for this more, and panic with myself less. Not doing so hot with that.
Anyway, I decided to put aside this panic, and focus on how blessed I am, how grateful I am, and how God has made me free. This worked most of the day. I think these are good things to remember every day.
Here are photos from the day.