More on Caleb's changes in his new phase of disequilibrium

I think I always knew I would have a strong willed child. This knowledge was confirmed when he was born and has continued to be confirmed and proven throughout his infancy and (almost) 3 1/2 years of life.
The night Caleb was born. You can already see how he is a strong willed baby. It's just written into his little hardy being.

Before we even know if Caleb was a he or she (his name would have been Audrey had he been a girl), I was certain, that the child would be wild and strong willed. And, he is. :) Plus, both of his parents were wild children and continue to be strong willed in different ways. And we are both pretty stubborn. 

It is with this knowledge early on, that I knew I had my life long work cut out for me. He is indeed a wild, rough and tough little man. You can already tell in that above photo of him, not even a few hours old. 

My sweet boy. 
Yesterday I mentioned how Caleb is experiencing this disequilibrium phase. Here are some other ways that have been other indicators for some of the changes he has experienced:

-He misses daddy more and will mention it randomly. It is sad, and I either try to distract him (today at the store it was with fruit snacks-which is a treat, and a song), call Spencer (did that today to, and it did not help because Caleb was too bothered), or just emphasize with him through understanding and hugs. I have mentioned Caleb missing Spencer more in other posts recently, and how sad and hard it can be (Like here: While not ideal, our life is right. xoxo).

The difference that I am seeing now, is that these times of missing him are random. Last night and today he said he felt sick. When I asked why, it was because he wanted daddy. So we work through it differently at different times. I know lots of children go through this for different reasons, and the bottom line for Caleb remains that he has this evident network of love in his life that starts with Spencer and I.

-He is more needy of mommy. I have noticed that he wants me to lay in bed with him more. I do sometimes to do a prayer and whatever else, but when I get up he will say, "Hey! Put your head back down!" He also wants to sit on my lap during meals, and sleep in my bed. I mentioned this yesterday, but with this sort of stuff, I give and take. I let him sit on my lap during meals sometimes when I am done. I never stay in his bed at bed time unless it is a different type of distress, because I have made it a point since he was a baby, to have him sleep in his own bed. I don't want him to establish a pattern of only being able to sleep with me or having to need outside stimulus like music or a light or whatever else. Developmentally, he is at a point where he just panics in the dark and is very afraid, so I make a provision for that by using one night light and leaving the door open. When he gets out of bed, he has to get back in his bed or else his door is shut. This often works because he doesn't like his door shut. Win! Anyway, all that to say, he is more needy of mommy, and I allow some of this because I think it is fine to an extent. I won't let him establish patterns I don't like, such as only going to sleep if I lay with him every day, or co-sleeping.

- He is definitely more inward. And he thinks a lot about things. He asks interesting questions and has different observations. Some of it is just kid stuff though. This isn't an example of this, but today, a lady shopping at short hair. He said, "THAT BOY IS LOOKING AT ME AND BOTHERING ME! I DONT LIKE HIM LOOKING AT ME." Well, she was a woman. But I didn't even turn around and didn't want to have that conversation about how she is actually a lady when she was right behind us. He would just say, "No she's not!" We've had these talks before. Not today.

Also, when he was with Spencer the other day, he pointed out a man's bald head and also said another mans nose was pointy. Haha, I don't even know how to respond to these sort of things besides, "Yes, he is bald Caleb." I think ideally, I want to be sure he is kind to others, but it's not really being unkind to point out an obvious truth, such as a bald head. I guess the point then, is to be respectful of others. But then again, the man could be proud of his bald head and not see it has disrespectful at all for a kid to point it out. So I don't know.

Another random observation he had today was how our kitchen table had no end. It is a circle with no sharp corners. He pointed out how his little toddler today does have corners, which were ends. He told the table to get some edges by coaxing it and saying, "Come on circle table!"

-As I said yesterday, definite more whining and tantrums. More demands and yelling. On the flip side, I am very firm with him and he does do a better job listening. It is constantly work, and it is not always working out well, but I would say that there are definite improvements and signs of his listening. And he tests me for sure. He will look at me with a spark in his eye and a mischievous grin to see what I will do when he is about to do something he knows I do not want him to do.

-He has an even greater awareness of money. He always has, but now he inquires about money and what he can get. This could be a concern, but I assume it is normal for a kid. When I grew up, it was understood that we didn't have money and we didn't get or do things like others. I think I experienced an extreme that is unnecessary for him, but I do not want him to grow up with entitlement just because he is blessed. So anyone want to get him toys? No worries. We can set up a donation fund to give to an organization he chooses instead or something. Just an idea.

I decided to get him a little chore chart. I haven't implemented it yet. As of now, his 3 duties are poop in the potty (he refuses adamantly and wont even do it for a lollipop or inflatable rocket ship toy), clear his dishes after eating, and pick up his toys. I was thinking about creating it so that he earns a toy if he wants one. We'll see.

His natural strong will and independence accentuates all of these things in different ways. Being firm and consistent creates boundaries that cause him to have greater security, even if it is a pain in the ass to enforce all the time, and even though I do fail. All of these things will surely manifest differently as he grows, as it already has.

My sister just got here. Gotta run. Have a cool day everyone!