You know who my child reminds me of these days? Stich, from Lilo & Stich.
Here's the movie trailer:
Stich is destructive and wild. Even just watching parts of this clip, I see traces of my son.
Lately I have been short tempered and increasingly annoyed with my little one. I think part of the problem, is he spends two evenings with his dad. He comes home "reset" almost. It's as if my constant discipline of him is gone after a mere few hours with his dad. I don't know why this is. But I think I am just tired and cranky and need a potion of love here. I am with him constantly. And for a long while before this cranky phase set in, I operated more out of a sense of love and joy that I was able to do what I do. I was grateful that I got to take care of him, to be his mom, to do the hard work of single parenting. I was joyous to be his mom in the good and hard. Right now, I'll be honest-I lack that. I don't know why. I don't know if I just need a break to be an adult for awhile. I don't know if I need to recharge in solitude. I don't know what I need. I am tired. I am cranky. I am impatient and even unkind. I have a shorter fuse with him. He is like a wild little Stich. And while that describes boy children at large, something I actually really love, right now I have maxed my patience level with it. He's not a bad kid by any means. His actions aren't even bad. I am just tired of the fight. I am tired of telling him to do something without him doing it. I am tired of the disobedience, and how I work so hard with him, only for him to come back to me "re-set". I know this is a phase and it wont last. But I am just here to say, I don't like it. I don't want this to be me, and right now it is.
He is a funny, creative, smart, wild little man. I just find myself yelling more and I don't like it. It's not my usual way.
From the crack of freakin' dawn, my son rises with unbound energy. He comes to my bed seeking food, telling me how hungry he is. The day goes on with this child constantly calling me, grabbing, pulling, jumping, climbing, whining, and back talking me with me constantly disciplining. Constant messes and throwing and muddy clothes and more. That is parenthood. And I have done it mostly gladly. But right now, I think I need a break. And maybe a margarita and a good night out. Or spa. Or mountain getaway. I'll take any or all of these things.
This isn't to say that I am a bad mom or that my kid is bad. He's great, actually. I am just a little more fed up these days. And I don't like that. Any parents, particularly parents that do the job alone, know what I'm talking about here?