The last day.

With my huge child on my last day of work. I reiterate, huge. 

With my huge child on my last day of work. I reiterate, huge. 

Today was my last day of work at Focus Financial & Tax Service LLC. I was an Administrative Assistant there for three years and nine months. I started having only a few months of office experience, as my background was in retail (Nordstrom) and having just graduated Azusa Pacific University with a BA in Psychology. I have a few internships and lots of different kinds of volunteer experience from my time in college and even during the highschool years, but I did not really spend much time in an office setting. It wasn't really my desired niche. It probably still isn't. But as a mom who needs to have certain hours to be available to her child, it works. 

I have been seeking an opportunity for growth. Something that has a good team aspect where I can be challenged and be a total positive asset. I think I have found that in my next job as another stepping stone to being completely independent in raising Caleb. While we have received generous help thus far, it has always been my desire to be independent with him. I am working towards it. I want to have a co-parenting relationship that is positive and a team effort and I'll be honest, right now it's not. It's actually pretty darn awful. It wears on me. But I look at my boy each day and I am deeply grateful for being his mom. It is for him, I stand and do what I do. It is for him, I make the choices I am conscientious in making.

                             Why I do what I do. 

I have had his father in my life since I was seventeen years old. We have had a tremendous amount of impact and overlap in each others lives. Each person makes their own choices for who they want to be. And I choose this. I choose Caleb. I choose to love others as much as I can, and love my God. I fail, but I liken this to directions on a compass. My compass points to these things: Loving my God, loving my people, being my son's mom. Every decision I make is with this in mind. This is why I also haven't been super open to dating. I am just too damn intentional. I won't date anyone seriously that does not have the long term qualities that I want to see in a potential partner. While I certainly desire this sort of partnership in my life, my focus is my child. My time is spent with him first. The rest of the stuff can wait. If God chooses to bring someone around that I could see myself with, I will make time for that. But my child comes first. Our lives and stability come first. 

My baby and my best. 

My baby and my best. 

So now we take another step forward. I start my new job on Monday and am honestly apprehensive with the commuting life I will be entering into. I told Caleb this means we have to be up and out earlier in the morning. He said to me, "Well mama, this means YOU need to get up when I do. And you need to eat when I do and put your shoes and clothes on when I do." Way to call me out, buddy. He was later discussing this with Jessie and while doing so, slowly shook his head when recounting his mother's anti-morning ways. The child knows I love chocolate (too much), the color dark red, and that mornings can be my nemesis. He also knows my favorite animal is a lion. What a chap. 


Today ushered the end of my time with Focus Financial, and it was a kind and beautiful send off. Our main UPS guy is Randy. Randy is incredibly friendly and kind. He tells great stories and has such a positive, joyful disposition. Yesterday I told him I would be leaving today, and he brought me a UPS hat, UPS ball, and UPS toy plane for Caleb and I. Super kind. 

Also yesterday I got a free car wash from the guy who washes the cars for our work building! 

Close to noon, Dean, Carole and Jessie came to the office to meet us for lunch. Mitch had made reservations at this very nice restaurant called Bistangos! Some people (probably Mitch) joked about stopping at the nearby food truck on the street as we walked to the restaurant, but I would have been just as perfectly happy going there too. The place we went was fancy and I ate more than I care to divulge. I mean, there were two desserts consumed. And wine during lunch. I felt like I was playing hooky from my responsibilities when I was actually with my work.  

Here is some of my delicious food. How do I not gain 5 pounds every single day from stuffing my face? This cuisine though...decadent. 

Dean & Carole are the fellow grandparents of the office. They are some of my favorites. Next is Jessie and I next to Bryan who is a partner of the firm with Mitch, who is on the very opposite of the table next to his sister Jill, also Bryan's wife, who works at the office too.Jeff is the guy in black in between Jill and Bryan. Such a lovely lunch! Truly spoiling. I felt bad it was so expensive.

Another surprise was a flower delivery that I received from Merie! She works in our other office location, and I hardly see those people. I speak to them on the phone about work matters semi regularly. The flowers are gorgeous. I have not gotten such nice flowers like this in years. Beautiful.

Just gorgeous. Such a thoughtful and kind surprise. 

I later went to find my friend Ally, the property manager of our building. I was going to get a bag from my car to pack up my stuff, but she insisted that I had to leave with a box, as goes the typical image of folks who quite their job and leave with their packed box. I will say, the box made it sad and it felt more final to pack it up.

Through the years, I appreciate the time and opportunity given to work here. It allowed me to have time with Caleb when needed, as they have always been very understanding to the many needs that can arise out of having a child. I am thankful for this time, and mindful of this new transition and time that is coming. I am mindful that God has no coincidences. Not with this new job, not with the timing, not with any of it. I am grateful to already have such a positive, welcoming, jovial team in the new company I will be joining. I will continue, as always, to pray for God's leading and guidance in all matters and decisions that come up for us as a little fam. 

But for today, I will say cheers, and thank you, dear Mitch, Bryan, Jill, and the rest of you. 

With love,