Above: Images from one part of our Sunday.
Something that has been heavily on my heart and mind lately: Realigning our will to God's will.
It's hard, isn't it? We drift off into our own world with what we want. What we desire. What we hope for. Our natural disposition as humans is to scream "ME ME ME ME ME!" MY comfort. MY convenience. MY wants. MY desires.
Are these things bad to have? No, of course not. But what we must do as followers of the living Christ, is to look to him and say, "You. You, You, You, You, You." Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Your will be done in our hearts and our lives. Your will be done in our children. Your will be done with our plans and our wants and our wishes and our ifs, ands, buts. God's will. Not mine.
When our will clashes with the will of God, there is struggle and frustration. This happens in the smallest of ways, just as it happens in the biggest of ways. As a parent, I see an increasing correlation with my child and I as the parent, to us being the children of God, and he, our father and creator. I hand my son a snack bar. His wish is for that bar to be in one, succinct piece. But if that bar cracks into two pieces, hell freezes right over, and that bar is condemned to the depths of Hades itself, never to be touched or returned. And I am left with a tantruming, pissed off, cranky he-babe who will not eat the perfectly good bar. It's funny because now I think about how I must be with God when I don't get something my way. Not to toot my own horn here, but I handle the gentle and abrupt waves of life pretty well. I mean, most of the time I do. I handle bad things reasonably well. But lately, I have been stuck in this muddle over my will versus God.
God, I wanted to move now. God, I wanted to be fully independent again right now, right away, snap, boom. Done.
Instead of just being grateful, I have had the gall to be depressed and sad about not being as independent as I have so desired. I think that's okay. It's okay to be sad. But it's a bummer. I want to be grateful and just walk in that. I recognize it is a process. I recognize that there are reasons for why things happen as they do. I get that. I respect that. I want to honor that. We don't get to see the big picture. God does. We live in the now. We have to trust a bigger God who knows.
So I work to realign myself with the God who knows. The living God who demands our trust.
The other day, my son asked me about becoming a Christian. To the best of my ability, I led him in a little prayer. I hope he understands that as he grows, that being a "Christian" isn't a name. It is a heart change. It is a life that says Yes to the will of Jesus and No to ourselves.
Yesterday we were at the park with our dear friend Jessie (who we love so much and who is leaving us so soon to live in Australia BLAH...I mean yay...), and we encountered a father who had lost his son. I mean, the son was around 4 or 5 years old and was lost. The father was frantically driving around looking for this little boy. Caleb was concerned for the boy (as we all were). Together we prayed for that boys safety and protection, and that God would surround him with his angels. Caleb mentioned this boy many times after that, and I told him that what he was expressing, was empathy. He was showing this care and concern for a fellow would-be comrade. That is a very good thing, and something I am glad I pointed out to him so he could understand that a little more. It is a human condition to have empathy, but also a Christ like one. It is apart of what it means to love God and love others in having a heart of concern for others. It is a good thing to have, and I have prayed that my son would be a person of compassion and empathy. I think that as children grown into adolescence and adulthood, these are some of the qualities that can easily diminish, as people might care more for themselves and less for others.
Grace & Peace to you friends, in starting this week. I start my new job tomorrow, and I know that God has led me there. Hoping for the best, and I'm actually not yet nervous...yet... :)