[This was written on Thursday, September 4, 2014. I was so tired when I wrote it, that I tucked it away and was not sure if I would share it or not. I've decided to share it. But as a side note, after a good Friday and refreshing weekend, I feel better. Less "discontented" as described below, which is great, because I had that feeling for weeks. ]
I like people who are real, upfront, and down with their personal humanity because they don't live with a pretense. They are just them. I know about the numbness that supersedes the normal range of emotion. I know about disappointment. Deep, broken hearted disappointment. I know about a faith so fierce, that you only must cling to it. I know about a God who saves.
A God who runs. A God who redeems.
Luke 15:20 is found in the midst of the all too familiar parable of the prodigal. Yet somehow, this verse breathes in a wisp of life into the glaze and strain of a not so refreshing life.
"And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him."
No matter where you are at today, there is a God who runs to you. And he lifts you up, embraces you, and sees not the stink of your gritty life, but the beauty in which he created.
And what is gritty? Anything that takes you away from the Living God. False pretense. Gossip. Discontentment. <Tangent alert...> I think that has been my problem lately. Discontentment. The commute is brutal. It is just really hard on me. No matter how hard I try, I can't get out the door soon enough to evade traffic. I am limited by school hours and also, a little boy. So I have been discontent. Like the wandering Israelites who have seen God's wonders in that barren desert, I complain. "This commute, it's rough." I second guess and doubt and question all kinds of things. I don't think about the wonderment of God, who has placed me in this place and in this time. I don't know the reason for this. I know that I am learning, and that is good. But I find myself in a funk and not living out of gratefulness or joy. I don't want to be a complaining Israelite. I am.
My mom makes a good point with this. What sets you apart from the other commuters? Attitude. Perspective. Joy. Gratitude. You made a choice, do not complain about it. Walk in it with gratitude.
This is what I am currently learning and seeking to do. Efforts have been made, slowly and surely.
I like being challenged. I like learning. I like "getting it". I like the opportunity to do better and to grow. These are good things. I hope I continue in all these ways. I am needing to remember to trust God in all things, including this.
Praise God, for being a God who runs. Just as one of my new favorite songs go, never once has he ever let me go. Grateful for that.
By the way, here's that song I just referenced-